Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Declaring my pitty party over
As much as I didn't want to write my marathon blog, deep down I knew I had to. I wanted to thank a lot of people. And it was a big deal in my life, I should document it. But deep down, subconsciously, there was a another reason I didn't realize until this morning. It's about healing, forgiving yourself and moving on.
It started yesterday morning, I emailed a link to a half marathon to a gal in my office who has been interested in running. I said, here's a great race, flat, mostly women. I think you'll enjoy it. She emailed me back and said, "Suann, you don't even know what an inspiration you all to so many women here." Me? Really? Did she mean to send that email to me?
I've never really thought of myself as an inspiration. But it brought a smile to my face to hear that I make a difference in someone's life.
Yesterday at lunch, I went to the gym at work to do weights and abs. One of the gals who has been working very hard to lose about 100 pounds asked me about how to start getting ready for a 5K. It dawned on me that I have these conversations quite often. Some seek my advice on how to do their first 5K, others about a 1/2 marathon. It was only yesterday that I realized that they value my opinion and maybe I am their inspiration. We're all in the same boat. We work in a male-dominated industry, 24x7 365. It's a challenging job and most of us have kids we are raising too.
This morning, I woke up to a note from a new Daily Mile friend, she said, "However difficult it is, I must choose not to allow those moments to get the best of me...because then, my disappointment in myself has won. I won't allow that." She's absolutely right. I'm not going to let disappointment win. Hell no.
I want to be someone's inspiration. And I can't be an inspiration if I'm constantly flogging myself.
Therefore, today, I declare my pitty party over. I want to thank you all for coming. But it's time to move on. I'm a marathoner and I'm proud. Take that 4:35:03. I'll see you in Chicago.