Cross Timbers Trail Marathon
Feb. 18, 2012
Did Not Finish.
Did not want to hear people encouraging me as I’m taking my walk of shame to the next aid station.
But I did not want to make things worse.
Did not want to think about what could have been.
Did not want to admit to myself that I made a bad choice even signing up for 26.2 when on Monday, I couldn’t walk without pain.
But most importantly, I do not want to screw up Zion.
My head says this was the right thing to do. I have no regrets. But why am I sulking?
It’s day one and I’m already irrational and pissy. Every time I get up and my knee aches, I’m reminded as to what I can’t do today.
Over the past few weeks, I was whining about running Cowtown and RnR NOLA. The thought of a road marathon was turning my stomach. But now that I can’t because I’m injured, I’m a little ticked.
Can’t and don’t want to are two different emotions. Right now I want what I can’t have. I want to run. And I can’t.
The problem with being driven and passionate sometimes is that you don’t put limits on yourself. Your mind and your desires push your body harder than you should. And rational thinking doesn’t apply until it’s a little too late.
It’s taken me awhile but I think I’m finally learning when to push my limits and knowing my limits.
That said, no races prior to Zion. Races are a great way to get miles in. But I’ve learned that there is no “training race” for me. I’ll push hard the second I toe that line. After this knee is back to normal, I’m focusing on quality training, not racing to get the miles in.
See you on the trails...after a little pool time.